A Wealth of Indisputable Facts About Nature’s Cruelest Predator, The Hedgehog
There are no hedgehogs in captivity. Instead, we are held captive by the hedgehog.
For instance, contrary to popular belief, hedgehogs do not mate not for life but rather for death, which is why they’re considered the best lovers in the world. Don’t try to rationalize it. Just accept.
And please do not compare them to porcupines. Because unlike the hedgehog, porcupines have no moral compass…and are imaginary.