5 Things You Should Never Bring To A Fourth Of July Picnic

5. Snacks that 99.9% of the population does not enjoy

Do you have an affinity for polarizing snacks most people hate like vinegar chips, anchovies, or deep fried tarantulas? Awesome! Can you please enjoy them at home? When contemplating edible picnic contributions, first ask yourself the following question: “Will it make people gag?” If the answer is no, proceed to the check out line. If the answer is yes, proceed to the chips and salsa aisle immediately.



4. Generic “host gifts” including, but not limited to candles, potpourri, and/or decorative soap

The only thing worse than bringing any of these would be showing up with somebody’s ex. Just don’t do it.

3. A super annoying friend

There’s nothing more embarrassing than being that guy who shows up with somebody that nobody knows (or wants to know). When it comes to bringing a guest somebody else’s soiree, it’s a general rule of thumb to ask the host’s permission first. If your guest request gets the green light, great! Just don’t bring the token “drunk girl.”

2. Highly flammable objects

Despite the numerous precautions we’re all encouraged to take when it comes to activities involving fireworks, every year there’s always a new horror story about a fourth of July gone wrong. Friends, don’t put the “fire” in firework. Not that most people would show up to a firework fiesta with an aerosol can of hairspray anyway. We’re just sayin’…



1. Nothing

Every millennial who grew up with a basic cable package surely remembers Barney’s most quotable life lesson, “Sharing is caring.” Although we don’t usually condone taking advice from purple dinosaurs, in this case Barney was totally right. Showing up with a snack, flowers, or beverage for the event enhances everyone’s picnic experience – and if you literally can’t stop by the nearest grocery store before the event, man up, apologize, and make up for your party faux pas next time.