This Black Friday Haul Video Is Terrifyingly Close To Reality

"This is a human spine. I don't want to talk about it."

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    Most Americans realize that Black Friday is like our Purge. The one time a year when we are legally allowed to rip someone's goddamn earrings out of their stupid head if they get too close to that Nespresso machine.

    The girl in this College Humor video just got back from the mall, and what she reveals from her Black Friday excursion is truly horrifying. I will not be going to The Grove today, because I am completely unprepared for the zombie massacre that is the Day After Thanksgiving.

    In case you aren't afraid enough, here's video footage from the parking lot at the King of Prussia Mall in Pennsylvania:

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