Look, if there's one thing that will always make me laugh, it's when animals in patriotic situations go haywire, and no one actually gets hurt! Like, we all had ourselves a good little laugh when president Donald Trump almost got bitten by that eagle during that Time Magazine shoot, and cowered in fear, but we got a much better display of how to deal with a wild eagle when Seattle Mariners player James Paxton was pounced on by a bald eagle who was there to be ceremonial but ended up being cere-mean-ial! Get it? Because he's mean.
It was a huge eagle-like misunderstanding, as the bird was supposed to land on the mound, and instead landed on baseball player James Paxton's shoulder. Paxton was absolutely calm during the whole affair, which I can promise is not how I would react if an Eagle landed on my shoulder — which is why I would be eagle food, and why Paxton is a world-class Major League Baseball player. You clearly have to be prepared for anything.
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