You’ve probably heard that Michael Bay has a new movie about the September 11, 2012 terrorist attack in Benghazi, Libya that killed Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens and three other Americans, and embroiled the White House in a scandal that President Obama’s critics have kept going to this day.
In preparation for the oncoming wave of angry Facebook posts from people convinced that Michael Bay’s movie is what actually happened, check out this bracing takedown from “Honest Trailers” of the last time Bay made a film about a major battle in American history.
“Before he cashes in on the tragic loss of American lives in his Benghazi movie [13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi], revisit Michael Bay’s attempt to cash in on the loss of even more American lives in ‘Pearl Harbor,’” Epic Voice Guy Jon Bailey begins.
The parody explains how the tragic events of Pearl Harbor were “just a backdrop to a stupid campy made-up love triangle and a bunch of wacky slapstick comedy,” where Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett single-handedly drove the Japanese out of Pearl Harbor. “You know there were, like, actual war heroes that did that, right?”
“Experience a Michael Bay fan fiction version of history that’s more ‘Merican than two soldiers donating blood into a Coke bottle, where all the men were noble patriots, all the women were naughty nurses, and not even polio could stop the President from getting us some sweet, sweet revenge. Woo, yeah! USA! USA!”
At the end, the trailer runs through a list of actual heroes of the Pearl Harbor bombing who were nowhere to be found in Michael Bay’s movie.
For comparison, here’s the trailer for “13 Hours”. Boy, I can’t wait. For the Honest Trailers version, of course.