Adult pixie doll and country-pop crossover superstar Taylor Swift was on Ellen to talk about her new album 1989 and to detail her completely rational fears of sea urchins (because you could lose your foot!) and being framed for a crime (because the media makes stuff up about you!)
If only there was some horrible misfortune that could combine these two fears. WHAT IF Taylor Swift gets a new beau, but he's a controlling, sociopathic monster who hates that she has adoring fans the world over. He goes missing one day and makes it seem like she murdered him and disposed of his body.
She finally tracks him down in Trinidad, where they have a thrilling chase through the streets of Port-of-Spain, finally ending up in the clear ocean waters where she gets surrounded by *ACK* sea urchins!
Somebody call David Fincher.