If you've been following Snoop's above advice religiously, The Oregonian may have the perfect job for you. The newspaper, and their online equivalent, Oregon Live, have posted an ad for a "freelance marijuana reviewer."
Now, I know what you're thinking... why's the marijuana reviewer gotta be freelance? Why doesn't he or she get a W2 and medical/dental benefits? (They're really going to need that dental coverage. Dr. Pepper tastes awesome when you're stoned but doesn't exactly lead to healthy smiles.)
Well, it turns out that Advance Publications, the parent company of The Oregonian, has mandatory drug testing for all employees. So you could lose your job... just for doing your job! If that isn't an Orwellian nightmare, I don't know what that term means, because "1984" was kind of dry and Nightwing comics were really more of a central focus of mine at that point.
So, if you are interested in the position (and let's be honest... how could you not be...), what kinds of qualifications are The Oregonian looking for?
"The candidate should be an experienced cannabis consumer with deep knowledge about the variety of strains and products available on the Oregon market."
By the by, this is also the description of an ideal "Portlandia" focus group subject.
The candidate also needs to be a medical marijuana patient with a valid prescription. Though recreational pot use has been decriminalized in Oregon, locals can only buy the drug legally from dispensaries starting on October 1st.
And if you love marijuana but don't feel like a perfect fit for THIS specific job, you could always see how Waka Flocka's professional blunt roller is doing. When that guy moves up in the organization, a new position could open up.