Friends. I have some very troubling news. It seems as if the White House is infested with all sorts of vermin and roaches. And also bugs and mice are crawling in it too! Eyyy! Ohhh! Got ‘em! I zinged the Trump administration but good! But seriously folks, the White House is apparently crawling with mice and cockroaches because that’s what happens when someone like Trump moves in, the host body of the White House just turns into the house from “It” apparently. Maybe that thing that Kelly-Anne Conway saw on CNN wasn’t a squirrel afterwards. How could Kelly-Anne lie to us like that!?
Those who found the insects are blaming the age of the house on the sudden infestation, but look — we’re going to discuss a president who regularly lies to his constituents, harasses everyone around him, makes racial slurs while casually shaking hands with Native American veterans and whatever the hell he’s going to do today that’s going to be bananas and not dig the fact that his presence is accompanied by a bunch of bugs and mice like the Oogie Boogie Man from Nightmare Before Christmas? Oh heck no!
Also the White House ordered a new toilet seat for the president and I like to think Trump broke his.
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