Finally, a What's Trending story where I don't have to embed the original video. I am free to let my words speak on their own. Unfortunately, this time the words are: a video has surfaced of a man masturbating with a (notoriously deadly) McChicken sandwich.
Plenty of people were understandably curious when #McChicken started trending on Twitter and Facebook this morning. Could this be related to some update to the classic McDonald's sandwich? Perhaps they're going to get rid of it to make room for more TasteCrafted originals. Oh, sad day! I must click on this at once!
Yeah, don't do that. If you do, you'll find this video of a guy f*cking a sandwich. I'm going to link to the video in a minute, but first let me warn you. This will ruin your day. It's exactly what it sounds like. A guy sticks his sizable penis into a McChicken bun and vigorously jerks off with it. Only click on this if you specifically want have a bad time.
Okay. Ready? NSFW link. Bad thing. You don't want it. Here it is, you monster.
All right, now that we've all watched the video, I have two observations. #1: Is that even a McChicken? All we can see is the bun and the lube (mayonnaise?) the guy is using. This may well have been a Quarter Pounder With Cheese in its pre-getting-f*cked life. #2: How about that car horn at :11?
In all seriousness, people have done worse things to trend on Twitter. Wherever this guy is, I sure hope he's happy. Happy that he scarred so many of us for life.
What do you think? Did you watch the McChicken video? How badly do you regret it? Let us know in the comments below or @WhatsTrending on Twitter!