Not all heroes wear capes. Sometimes they wear oversized alligator suits. And baseball suits over those alligator suits! And in those suits sometimes they act quicker than the greater superheroes, mightier than the mightiest of Batmen — and he used the speed of Superman himself to save a child from a fowl ball.
His name is Albert the Gator. He is the mascot of the Florida Gators. And he has saved a child, he has! The Gator falls over dramatically after the foul ball bonks him on his big gator head. The world weeps. The child weeps into action and starts to give the gator pressure to his chest to reawaken him. CPR. The gator leaps to life. All feel joy at the Phoenix ressurection of the big gator.
The gator seems okay now, but know that deep in his heart, deep in the suit, beats the human heart of a hero.
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