There is a war raging online. Communities that once lived in peace are now battling to see who's pizza reigns supreme and who will be burned to an inedible crisp. On social media, the biggest names in pizza are in a battle for the hearts and minds of a nation.
On November 1st, John Schnatter, CEO of Papa Johns, blamed the company's falling sales figures on the protests at NFL games. You see, Papa Johns is the official pizza of the NFL, and the NFL's ratings are down. Last year, the NFL saw a 9% loss in viewership, and the ratings continue to drop this season.
But there are many reasons people are not tuning in for Football anymore. According to Sports Illustrated, it's not just the protests that are turning people off of football. The competitive same-day fantasy football market has dwindled, football has oversaturated the TV market, and many people are turned off by the risk of concussion and brain damage to the players.
But Papa John insists that it's because of the kneeling protests during the National Anthem that has caused the dip in his pizza sales.
But, that turns out to be a supreme lie with extra bullsh*t. ESPN Reporter Bill Barnwell tweets, "The idea that Papa John’s revenue/earnings fell because of anthem protests is ridiculous. Steady decline long before peak protest day (September 24th)"
To blame it just on the protests is pretty gross... like Papa John's garlic butter dipping sauce. Many have speculated that the owner of the Dallas Cowboy's had Schnatter try to shame the NFL into stopping the protests by claiming his business was hurt.
Deadspin points out that Jerry Jones and John Schnatter have been friends for over a decade, and that Jones owns over 100 Papa John's franchise locations.
But, if poor football ratings means poor pizza sales, surely every pizza place is feeling the pinch, right? Wrong!
In an investors' call the day after Schnatter's statement, the CEO of Pizza Hut's parent company YUM Brands said they've seen no dip in sales due to protests, and have benefited from advertising and sponsoring live sports.
Forbes reports that Papa John Schnatter's net worth fell by 70 million dollars overnight, due to poor sales, falling stock prices, and Schnatter's big mouth. But at this point, the pizza wars began to be about who's cuisine reigns supreme.
Then, out of nowhere, DiGiorno started burning Papa John's Pizza worse than Papa John himself.
Once the news broke that Papa John's stocks had fallen because of the controversy, DiGiorno sliced them again!
Papa Johns tried to swipe back by changing their Twitter bio to say "frozen pizza = the pizza equivalent of a participation trophy."
An equals sign and the word equivalent! Somebody ordered a burn with extra words!
DiGiorno was unfazed, tweeting a trophy emoji and saying, " Isn’t it nice?" Turns out DiGiorno's social media manager is as salty as a DiGiorno pizza. DiGiorno's Twitter bio now reads, "It's not delivery... it's kinda petty."
Now that Pizza Wars has gone from a substitute for politics and into pure pizza punishment, the internet is all for it.
Where do you stand on the pizza wars? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter at @WhatsTrending.