Sleeping Yankees Fan Sues For $10 Million, Embarrasses Self Further

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  • This story comes to us from the “Lawsuits Soon To Be Laughed Out Of Court” department of A man named Andrew Robert Rector is suing ESPN and Major League Baseball over comments made by broadcasters Dan Shulman and John Kruk during an April 13 contest between the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox.

    In the top of the fourth inning, cameras caught Rector taking a little nap.

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  • It’s important to note that, while Shulman and Kruk do have a bit of fun at Rector’s expense, they certainly don’t make any of the comments that Rector alleges in his lawsuit. Here are a few tasty quotes from the grammar-deficient suit:

    ESPN Cameras focused on the plaintiff, Announcers like Dan Shulman and John Kruck unleashed avalanche of disparaging words against the person of and concerning the plaintiff. These words, include but not limited to “ stupor, fatty , unintelligent , stupid” knowing and intending the same to be heard and listened to by millions of people all over the world, including people that know the plaintiff in person or interacted with the plaintiff.

    The defendant MLB.Com continued the onslaught to the point of comparing the plaintiff to someone of a confused state of mind, disgusted disgruntled and unintelligent and probably intellectually bankrupt individual

    Watching the video, neither broadcaster ever insinuates that the sleeping Rector is disgruntled or unintelligent. This task will be accomplished by anyone who reads the text of his lawsuit.

    In fact, Rector should be pleased that the comments weren’t more negative. We all remember what happened to George Costanza at the 1993 U.S. Open.

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  • The Internet’s having a lot of fun at Rector’s expense today, but we shouldn’t be too hard on him for his untimely siesta. He was, after all, watching a baseball game, one of the most sleep-inducing activities known to man, right between “writing thank-you notes” and “watching a Ken Burns documentary about the history of the stapler.”

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