Could You Get a Date With This Guy?

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    They say that a specific dating profile increases your chances of finding “the one.” But if you’re a little too picky, you might go from THE one to NO one.

    That’s why this 125-item long list of “deal-breakers” on one OkCupid profile is going viral; because there’s just no possible way that anyone could jump through the flaming, spiky hoops to his heart.

    Except maybe Baskauskas, who was honored with a message by this fastidious gent, and, shocked by his list of no-no’s, uploaded it to Tumblr.

    It’s kind of hard to tell if this guys is being serious or trolling. Some of the demands mention silly, obscure things that made us giggle, like:

    Don’t Message Me If…

    – You like drawn finger mustaches

    – You’re a spiteful food and beverage employee that spits in the cuisine of customers you don’t favor

    – You write missed connections for people with whom you’ve never spoken

    – You have enough tattoos that you will essentially never be nude again

    – You stand in entrances of exist to check your bags

    – You needlessly kill spiders

    – You don’t realize that John Lennon was a “Bono level” douche

    And some of the items make him seem like a serious jerk:

    Don’t Message Me If….

    – Your dissatisfaction with your body image has caused you to be as aesthetically obnoxious as possible to somehow compensate for your perceived shortcomings

    – Your career, which you worked very hard for, will vanish, to be replaced by children that you suddenly discovered you always wanted.

    – You dye your hair light blonde

    – You think that your real face is the one covered in makeup

    And yet others just confused us. WHY WOULDN’T YOU WANT THESE THINGS?

    Don’t Message Me If…

    -You consider yourself a happy person

    – Browsing photos of cats is an activity for you

    – You have, or would like to attend, “Burning Man”

    – You pet wandering mystery cats with no regard for toxoplasmosis

    So he loves spiders, but you can’t pet a cat? This guy is nuts.

    Do you think he’s a troll, or a genius? Will he find the perfect partner with this list? Let us know if the comments!

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