I Just Had To Look Up “Hardwell” And “Ultra Music Festival”

I'm old and writing about young people things.
By Jonathan Harris
  • Hardwell has one of the biggest videos on YouTube today with a performance at the Ultra Music Festival. I have never heard of Hardwell and I have never heard of the Ultra Music Festival – it remains unclear if this is because I am old and thus out of touch or if Hardwell, the Ultra Music Festival and their genre of music is totally pointless and lame.

    Don’t worry! I’m not jumping to conclusions. I’m going to actually do some research to make a determination. In the meantime, here’s the hour-long performance:

  • Source: www.youtube.com / Via: www.youtube.com

    Okay, so Hardwell is a Dutch DJ who is very well-regarded in the DJing sphere. DJ Magazine voted him the best DJ in the world in both 2013 and 2014. (Yes, this information is in the first paragraph of his Wikipedia entry, but I totally clicked down to the footnotes to verify that it was true. It was.)

    After much thought, I have concluded that it IS me who is out of touch and simply too old to enjoy electro house music, and that the genre itself is not, as previously thought, pointless and lame.

    I thought that I still had it, especially once I was listening to Pitchfork-approved things like Burial and Scuba. But, I just couldn’t take the full leap. I’m too old. This article is not about Hardwell. It is about me. I’m old.

  • Source: www.youtube.com / Via: www.youtube.com

    But, again, I like this. What’s the difference? Maybe I just prefer it in my headphones instead of in a big sweaty group of people. Is that the only thing that separates one from the other?

    Please, someone 24 or under, explain it to me. I need a banana and a nap.