“Monopoly” Movie Passes Go, Will Collect Millions in Box Office Probably

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  • Lionsgate announced that they are teaming up with toy-makers Hasbro for a movie based on the classic board game Monopoly. If it’s anything like the actual board game, we assume it will be 12 hours long and make you hate your friends.

    We’re always skeptical of board game movies. For one thing, Monopoly doesn’t exactly have a plot. Unless the film is about an adorable terrier and a top hat becoming real estate moguls, the film is going to have to take some liberties with the original game. For another thing, the only other board game movie with can think of — 2012’s Battleshipsucked.

    Andrew Niccol (The Truman Show) has been tapped to write the screenplay. According to Lionsgate Motion Picture Group co-president Erik Feig, “He is an inspired choice to develop this timeless property into a big, crowd-pleasing event film that will appeal to kids, families and anyone who has ever played the Monopoly game.”

    Our personal experience with Monopoly is not what we would call “crowd-pleasing”. It’s more like a cutthroat, winner-takes-all lesson in the worst forms of capitalism that turns friends into enemies and goes on waaaaay too long. And then we end up in jail.

    How will Lionsgate turn the world of hotel-building, railroad-buying and Go-passing into an actual motion picture? We have no idea. We’re just hoping there will at least be an adorable terrier.

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