Oppose Gay Marriage For Religious Reasons? You Probably Have A Babydick.

It's ok. You don't need to be afraid anymore.
By Jonathan Harris
  • Remember a few weeks ago when the Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality? Yeah man, that was fucking awesome. The world has kind of sucked a fat one since then.

    Leading off that sucking-fat-ones charge was this video from CatholicVote.org, featuring interviews with Catholic individuals who are sooo hurt that people would consider them bigots just for doing bigoted things! Like wanting to discriminate against someone based on their sexual orientation!

  • Source: www.youtube.com / Via: www.youtube.com

    That’s right. They’re not afraid to say it anymore. That word “anymore” is important because, prior to June 2015, no religious person had ever voiced their opposition to gay marriage before! It’s like, c’mon guys, if you’re against something, you’ve got to let us know.

    Is it so bad just to want everyone to be like you and follow the rules that some ignorant primitives gave us 5,000 years ago? (Don’t worry, gays, you only have to follow some of the rules. Tattoos are cool. Fuck Leviticus 19:28. Leviticus 18:22, though. That’s my jam.)

    Upright Citizens Brigade sketch team Judith doesn’t think it’s so bad either. In fact, the bravery of these proud Catholics has inspired another oft-oppressed group: the Babydicked.

  • I’ll admit it: even I have shamed those with babydicks in the past. I should have realized that it was really I, the normal-size-dicked individual, who was the oppressor.

    They’re not afraid anymore.