Wiping: Front to Back or Back to Front?

Serious question for ladies who use the bathroom: do you wipe back to front or front to back? There’s only one way to settle this age-old debate, and that’s by having an overblown cable-news-style fight about it, because this is America, dammit.

Glenn, who has half a degree from Boston University and doesn’t take shit from anyone, sits down with Joanna, who has been to France six times and has never plucked her eyebrows. They put aside their close friendship so they can argue heatedly on the subject, but they can’t quite maintain the required level of contempt for this format.

“Your views are so stupid,” Joanna says. “I really like you, and when we hang out I’m like, “Glenn is one of the smartest women I’ve ever known.”

“I think you are so smart,” Glenn replies, “and I think your opinions are so dumb.”

“Right. Except that yours are the ones that are dumb.”

Who do you think won this round? Are you a front-to-back or back-to-front? Start a big flame war about it in the comments!