Boston Dynamics Reveals Their New Creepy Robot

Look, I know I use the “future robot overlords” joke too often when I’m talking about Boston Dynamics, but how am I supposed to not be freaked out by their new broad-chested zombie-walking battle robot?

Sure, sure – the company says the next generation of their Atlas robot is designed for navigating, avoiding obstacles and lifting objects. It’s 5’ 9” tall and weighs 180 pounds, and it’s designed to operate indoors and out. It can do things like open doors and lift ten-pound boxes onto shelves – even when some cocky engineer walks up with a hockey stick and starts whacking the box out of its hands and shoving it over like he’s a bully in a junior high gym class.

Dude, did you ever watch the original “Robocop” movie? Remember the guy who tried to demonstrate the capabilities of the evil police robot by pointing a gun at it? Remember what happened to that guy?? Don’t poke your creepy robot with sticks! It knows how to open doors!