Guy Attaches Vibrators to Pokémon Go (For Science)

As the Pokémon Go craze enters its second month, let us pause to reflect on some of its most bizarre moments. There was the rash of armed robberies. There was the (almost certainly fake) witnessing of a murder. There was that woman who hated the game, but couldn’t stop playing. And now there’s this, peak Pokémon Go: a guy hitching up Pokémon Go-playing smartphones to vibrators.

The Huffington Post reports on a number of people, including Tom Nardone of Vibrators.com, conducting Pokémon Go vibrator experiments. For those unfamiliar with the game, eggs are a central mechanic — when you obtain an egg, you need to walk a certain distance with it in order for it to hatch into a Pokémon.

Of course, walking requires effort, and no one wants to expend effort on anything. So there are two possible solutions: 1. use a paid walking service like PokéWalk (which might be fake and definitely violates the game’s Terms of Service), or 2. try to trick your phone into thinking you’re walking.

These experiments fall into the latter category. Some people got curious and asked the question, “what if I taped my phone to a vibrator? Would that make Pokémon Go think I’m getting exercise?”

The result, as seen above, is: not really. The fastest vibrator that Nardone hooked up to a phone registered only 200 meters traveled in an hour, while the slowest barely registered any movement at all. By comparison, the average human can walk 800 meters in about ten minutes.

Still, we appreciate the curiosity of Nardone and others. Without their experiments, who KNOWS how many vibrators would have been needlessly bought and thrown away once their unfitness for Pokémon were discovered? Sounds like a waste of a perfectly good vibrator to me.

What do you think? Should sex toys be kept far, far away from children’s games? Let us know in the comments below or @WhatsTrending on Twitter!