Randy Newman Wrote Song About Trump’s Dick

Randy Newman is no stranger to harsh political satire. Even though the singer songwriter is best known for his Academy Award winning music for Pixar movies (he wrote “You’ve Got A Friend In Me” for Toy Story, and “If I Didn’t Have You” for Monsters, Inc), in other circles he’s known as a sharp and cruel satirist, with hits such as Short People, I Love LA and Rednecks, so it’s such a pleasure to see this acerbic and astute wordsman return during the age of Trump with a new album — titled Dark Matter (like Dark Subject matter?)

The album comes with an incredible song about Vladimir Putin titled, appropriately enough, Putin.

But additionally, Randy Newman tells Vulture — the album had a song about Trump’s dick that was excised because he didn’t want to contribute to the deevalutation of the conversation. Well, let’s hear about what this convo devolvement sounded like. Well, according to Randy Newman the lyrics were (ahem) —

“My dick’s bigger than your dick / It ain’t braggin’ if it’s true / My dick’s bigger than your dick / I can prove it too / There it is! There’s my dick / Isn’t that a wonderful sight? / Run to the village, to town, to the countryside / Tell the people what you’ve seen here tonight.”

Then Newman says the chorus was —

“What a dick!” Duh-duh-duh. “What a dick!” 

A masterpiece. Now he HAS to record it.

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