Denny’s New Mascot Looks Like a TURD

Folks. Let’s talk about turds. Normally turds come after eating a delicious stack of pancakes, a grand slam breakfast or a pile of eggs at Denny’s— but BEFORE!? My goodness! This overturns the entire cosmic turdiverse! The great and cosmic turd rules that claim the poop comes after the meal, but not if Denny’s has anything to say about it because their new mascot looks kind of sort of like… a turd.

Officially his name seems to be “Snap the Slams” but I don’t know what a slam is. Is “slam” the sound a turd makes when hitting some toilet water? Denny, because that is obviously what is happening here I just want to say — sick, Denny’s! We are sickened! Sickened by this thing you are clearly doing and— what’s that? Snap the Slams isn’t his name but a command to take a photo with the thing? And this thing is probably a sausage and not a turd? Anyway, I snapped the slams once. But not with a sinful Denny’s turd but with a hunk pancake. Check out me and this very hunky pancake.

What do you think of Denny’s new turd like mascot? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter at @WhatsTrending.