Kim Kardashian Sends Perfume to All of Her Haters

Are you Taylor Swift? Bottle of perfume coming your way!
By Alex Firer

  • Kim K’s new fragrance line is set for a Valentine’s Day release.  KK went on Snapchat to celebrate and reveal that she’s sending bottles of her fragrances to her lovers and haters. 

    I’m sure you’re wondering “How do I get on the list of free stuff?” Well, you are in luck because I have analyzed the list and founds some of the best way to get on Kim’s bad side!

    You can hate on her Vogue cover like Sarah Michelle Gellar, who threatened to cancel her subscription, Janice Dickenson, or slut shame her like Chloe Grace Moretz. Then there’s Pink, who gets extra credit for this IOS press release which says “shout out to all of the women across the world using their brains, their strength, their work ethic, their talent, their magic that only they possess. It might not ever bring you as much attention or bank notes as using your body, your sex, your tits and asses, but women like you don’t need that kind of attention.” 

    You could her for Donald Trump’s presidency like Chelsea Handler did in an interview with Variety, where she said “I blame the Kardashians, personally; the beginning of the end was the Kardashians. The way these people have blown up and don’t go away — it’s surreal.”

    You could mad ish about her on your talk show at every opportunity like Wendy Williams, Become Kim’s friend, watch her sister date your ex, get engaged to their brother in retaliation, turn the brother against the rest of the Kardashians, have his child, get surgery on his dime, dump him, send him videos of you with other men, sue the entire family when your reality tv show gets canceled and allegedly party with the sister’s new man, who possibly got her pregnant, behind her back like Blac Chyna 

    You could a phone call from her husband in which he explains that he’ll be including a lyric about the two of you having sex. Tell them him that it’s a compliment. When the song drops, deny that he asked for approval first. Wait for National Snake Day when Kim drops a video of the conversation. Write an entire album about the incident and release it on the 10th anniversary of his mother’s death. 

    Or be Piers Morgan 

    What do you think? Are you here for Kim’s petty, or is the best revenge a life well lived? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter at @WhatsTrending. Make sure to follow our host, and the writer of this piece, @danielleradford on Twitter!