Official Harry Potter Twitter Feed Tells Us Wizards Pooped on the Floor
I wonder if Henry and Lily James pooped on the floor the day they brought Potter to the Dursleys? Much to consider.
Hogwarts didn't always have bathrooms. Before adopting Muggle plumbing methods in the eighteenth century, witches and wizards simply relieved themselves wherever they stood, and vanished the evidence. #NationalTriviaDay
— Pottermore (@pottermore) January 4, 2019
Harry Potter has been pretty unique in how it tends to grow the lore in strange little tidbits after the final book has been released over a decade ago. The most famous example is, of course, when J.K. Rowling revealed that Dumbledore was gay, a fact that probably would have carried more weight if it was included in the massively popular series published at the height of the debate over the legalization of gay marriage. And now a more troubling little bit of world building has come to us from the official @Pottermore account, explaining to us that wizards haven’t always had plumbing, and included it to appease Muggle visitors. In fact, what wizards tended to do in terms of waste is apparently poop on the floor and then make is disappear using their powers.
So for those of you who wanted a Harry Potter sequel, here we are. Harry Potter’s father probably shit on the ground left and right before his beautiful romance with Lily Potter, another person who 100% shit on the ground and then made her shit disappear.
I love worldbuilding more than anyone but https://t.co/ZXIaHG73fB
— David Sims (@davidlsims) January 4, 2019
I don’t get it. How does this little trivia fact make the Harry Potter books better? If anything it raises a lot of uncomfortable questions. For one, if there were no bathrooms or plumbing in the old wizarding world, then why did Moaning Myrtle go there after she died? She haunted the bathrooms, didn’t she? Did the bathrooms just open when she died some time in World War Two?
Wow the harry potter universe is so much richer knowing wizards used to cast spells to get rid of their shit & piss & cum. A master class in world building
— Nick Wiger (@nickwiger) January 4, 2019
Also, unless I’m mistaken, don’t wizards get their powers when they’re 11? What do they do before then? And how about squibs — i.e., wizards who are born without powers, such as Hogwarts’ caretaker Filch? What do they do? Poop on the ground and hope someone picks it up with a plastic bag as if they’re dogs or something?
harry potter in 2007: friendship & courage defeats all evil
harry potter in 2019: yeah so wizards actually used to shit and piss themselves https://t.co/NT8CI9IFhh
— beth mccoll (@imteddybless) January 4, 2019
I don’t know. I feel like this is a bad expansion to the series.
Like… did the wizards make the poop on their butts disappear too, or did they wipe in flagrant view of everyone around them? And why not just have a separate room to do this in? I mean, I like to eat in the dining room or kitchen but I guess I can do it anywhere like some slob.
If you motherfuckers had just let Harry Potter fade the fuck away like it was supposed to a decade ago I wouldn’t be on the verge of reading some horrifying information about how wizards shit.
— Nolan Void (@HitlerPuncher) January 4, 2019
Look, if I’m not careful, this article could be one of my longest yet. What a dumb addition to the lore that raises all kinds of bad questions.
Just remember. When Dumbledore first met Snape, when he first made the friendship with a member of the opposition who would dare turn to the side of good and make the ultimate sacrifice when all was said and done… he probably had a really dirty butt.
Also, how did they shower? Ugh, whatever, I’ve got to wrap this thing up.
What do you think of this disgusting little tidbit? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter at @WhatsTrending.