Beyond Obama: The 7 Greatest Presidential Burns Of All Time
We all saw President Obama’s sick burn of Congressional Republicans last night during the State of the Union Address.
What you may not know is that presidential disses go back all the way to our country’s inception. Here are the 7 greatest, and most oft overlooked, burns in U.S. presidential history.
1. George H.W. Bush
Bush the elder reportedly had two long affairs, one with Jennifer Fitzgerald, his White House deputy chief of protocol, a sick burn on Barbara Pierce, the woman he’d been married to since the 40s! Owned!
2. John Tyler
Mexico was totally not down with Texas gaining independence and becoming part of the United States. Despite resistance from other politicians, President Tyler annexed Texas and told Mexico that if they didn’t like it, they could kiss his aristocratic Virginian ass. Ouch! So hot from the burn!
3. Jimmy Carter
BOOM! During the energy crisis of the late 1970s, Jimmy Carter urged Americans to conserve fuel, and even wore sweaters around the White House so they wouldn’t have to turn the heat on. This so agitated the American people, who love driving cars and hate stupid sweaters. They couldn’t believe Carter pulled such sweet pwnage!
4. William Henry Harrison
Oh no he didn’t! William Henry Harrison died of pneumonia after only 32 days as president, throwing the Whig agenda into disarray. Take that American people — you been served!
5. George Washington
In what may be the SICKEST political burn of all time, George Washington was actually a man named Jacques Ferry, a Frenchman who fought the Revolutionary War as a big goof. His unique style of smackdown was so successful, the hypnotizing imposter served two terms as president and remains the father of our country.
6. George W. Bush
Burn Notice! George W. Bush has an IQ of 156 and speaks five languages. WHHHAAAAAATTTT?!?!?!?
7. Millard Fillmore
Oh Snap! Millard Fillmore, our 13th president, was primarily responsible for dispatching Commodore Matthew Perry to Japan, intending to end the nation’s era of isolationism. Who knows, had this not happened, American electronics could still be among the most profitable in the world. Could there BE any bigger burn?!?