Mike Pence For Some Reason Announces Space Force

I am ready to die in the fake space time wars.

Folks, like all topics during the Trump administration that feel ridiculous on their face, but they’ve been uttered by the president forcing us to discuss them it does me no great joy to say this: it’s time to talk about the Space Force.

Mike Pence announced the Space Force as the sixth military branch of the government — the first new branch since the Air Force was established after World Word II in 1947 — and made plans to put it together by 2020. Congress will begin to buy up satellites and spend up to eight billion dollars in order to continue to beef up this branch of the government. Said Pence: “Just as we’ve done in ages past, the United States will meet the emerging threats on this new battlefield. The time has come to establish the United States Space Force.”

So we’re fighting wars in space. Why. There is no one out there in space. There are no intergalactic aliens to fight us, and space isn’t even on any American soil. Flint has water that has to be cleaned, Puerto Rico is still amassing thousands of casualties, and the White House wants to fight wars that don’t exist and may never exist outside of a comic book.


If no country wants to go to war with you, why not just invent one in space? Why be so hawkish about spending more money on war than healthcare that you go out there and make up a new reason to maybe go to war? Is Donald Trump going to complete his transformation into comic book villain and actually going to blow up the moon? I don’t know. I don’t know what will happen, congress still has to approve it and if we’re going to get a Democratically controlled congress I don’t know if we’re going to be seeing a Space Force any time soon.

Approximately 554 thousand people, according to Mother Jones are homeless, but yes, let’s go fight wars in space against no one.

The concept of the “Space Force” has been met with opposition inside the government. As the Washington Post explains:

The creation of a Space Force has met with opposition, inside and out of the Pentagon. Defense Secretary Jim Mattis said in a memo last year to Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) he opposed “the creation of a new military service and additional organizational layers at a time when we are focused on reducing overhead and integrating joint warfighting functions.”

Donald Trump is stuck in the 1980’s, so it’s no surprise his administration went ahead and did the greatest of the 1980’s traditions: a questionable sounding Star Wars rip off. And if we’re going to go in that direction, we may as well get some cheap rubber suited aliens out of the deal.

Still, starting a new branch of the military in an age where we’re spending so much money in deficit I am sure is no easy task for the president, who is no doubt thinking about this with the gravity that such a decision ultimately deser–


What do you think of the Space Force though? Is it actually a great idea for all of the Space Wars we maybe might fight someday possibly? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter at @WhatsTrending.