When Tom Hardy takes on a new super villain role do you think he’s like “time to show off my crazy new voice!” His impression of Bane — which he showed off to his dog quite recently — was this weird Sean Connery style growl that is easily the best part of a movie that, absolutely no one remembers the rest of. Remember when Bane had a Brazilian accent? Sorry, folks. Tom Hardy didn’t feel like doing it, apparently! Well, now he’s back with a crazy new voice in the trailer for Sony’s upcoming Marvel movie “Venom” — an affected Bronx accented voice that is apparently… what Venom sounds like!
So, if you’re a very self-important 13-year-old, you are losing your MIND right now. And, if you’re everyone else… well, why didn’t they show gosh darned Venom in the trailer? My goodness! I, and the rest of society, quite frankly demand our Venom, do you understand?
Remember when Topher Grace played Venom in Spider-Man 3, the movie everyone hated that I — ACTUALLY CRIED AT WHEN I SAW IT. Sorry, popular opinion. I cried when the Sandman died during Spider-Man 3!
Well, I guess that was pretty weird, but I still like it. You know why? I’m a cool-ass contrarian with nothing to lose! Oh heck yeah.
You know how I know we have too many superhero movies? Because when a superhero movie everyone hated came out, we celebrated it! Dude, we MADE something of it. We still talk about Batman & Robin? Now? There have been four movies with Spider-Man in them since. Ah well.
Venom is the first of a few movies Sony is releasing in a franchise that — thanks to comic book writer Dan Slott’s Spiderverse event for Marvel — has quite a few places to break into. Here’s a trailer for a film starring Brian Michael Bendis’ creation Miles Morales — the biracial Spider-Man in a film written by Phil Lord, Chris Miller, and Gravity Falls creator Alex Hirsch. It should be… PRETTY GOOD.
And here’s Tom Hardy pretending to be Bane to his dog!
In fact, why are we covering that darned Venom trailer? Are you excited for the obviously better Miles Morales movie? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter at @WhatsTrending.