Disney’s ‘Cinderella’ Trailer Now Owns Your Teenage Daughter

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    Above is Disney’s first trailer for Cinderella, Kenneth Branagh’s live-action remake of the classic folk tale and celebrated animated film. It stars Lily James as the titular character, with Cate Blanchett as the wicked stepmother and Helena Bonham Carter as the fairy godmother.

    Despite a landmark year for the women’s movement that included a national discussion about sexual assault, catcalling, and general male doofishness, this film will tear it all down, by shooting an arrow straight into the heart of teenage girls around the country, and convincing them yet again that their ultimate goal in life should be to wear nice shoes and marry Richard Madden.