I’ve always been kind of hazy on what does or does not constitute a Disney Princess. For example, I’ve never understood why Nala wasn’t considered something akin to royalty in these branded things. Even young Nala. There are no weird little kids out there who would take a look at the Disney roster of princesses, looking for the one who represents them and see a lioness and go: “Yeah, that’s me. There’s no question. That’s me”? I mean, weirdos need a princess, and they got one in ‘Wreck-It Ralph’ with Vanellope von Schweetz, the female star of Disney’s unlikely super hit. Vanellope von Schweetz became a Disney princess after some Deus Ex Machina style finagling, what with her winning a Mario Kart style candy race and all, and being crowned princess of her particular domain, which is a video game about candy. Now, in ‘Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2’, she at long last gets to meet the rest of her Disney royal kin, and Eeyore and Star Wars, of course.
The plot of Wreck-It Ralph 2 involves all of the 8 bit arcade games that Ralph and company live in, most likely in some hip Koreatown arcade where 35-year-old adults go to celebrate their birthday and spend $150 in bad pizza, beer and tokens in order to pretend they are not turning 35 and are actually eternally 19.
The trailer opens up with Ralph and Vanellope seeing Facebook, Google, Twitter, and probably upon realizing all three of those have become gaping hellmouths in the last few years, just go to the Disney fansite where we would rather see them all anyway.
And if that’s the movie, then the creators were right! Ralph takes a backseat in the trailer as we see Vanellope, voiced by comedian and all around great person, Sarah Silverman, get chased by the stormtroopers from Star Wars:
Land a sick burn on Eeyore (with Iron Man flying in the background):
Until finally having the much-publicized meeting between her and the Disney princesses. At first, she has trouble proving her Disney bonafides to these women, given her life was not one of untold trauma, but then the women bond over society’s idea that their lives were improved by a big strong man. Even if the man is voiced by John C. Reilly, the princesses agree it’s still pretty dumb.
The princesses on hand included Snow White, Cinderella, Moana, Pocahontas, Medina from Pixar’s ‘Brave’, Ariel (not in mermaid form), Mulan, Elsa and Anna from ‘Frozen’, Belle, Rapunzel from ‘Tangled’, Jasmine, Aurora from ‘Sleeping Beauty’, and Tiana from ‘Princess and the Frog’. They accept Penelope into their fold, but sadly — no Nala from ‘The Lion King’.
This is all well and good, but still, nothing is as excited as apparently Sora from Kingdom Hearts was in the first Wreck-It Ralph, and now Ralph is going to be in the third Kingdom Hearts. This is the kind of stuff I like and I accept it.
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