By now you’ve heard the news that rocked the world and made everyone stop believing in love: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting a divorce. We covered the basics of the story yesterday, but since then SO MUCH MORE has happened. It is our duty to you, loyal reader, to make sure you know exactly what’s going down.
First: although TMZ’s original report claimed that no one is accusing anyone of infidelity, rumors have since arisen that Pitt cheated on Jolie with Allied co-star (and fantastic late-night guest) Marion Cotillard.
What’s Allied? Just the new World War II movie starring Pitt and Cotillard as sexy married spies. Here’s the trailer, which “coincidentally” dropped yesterday:
If this sounds familiar, it’s because, of course, Pitt and Jolie met on a movie about sexy married spies, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, back in 2004. That movie featured this eerily fitting moment:
Ouch. But wait, there’s more!
Tabloid Us Weekly published an article claiming that Jennifer Aniston, the woman Pitt dumped like a sack of potatoes to be with Jolie in the first place, has responded. According to them, Aniston said “Yeah, that’s karma for you,” while discussing the news with a friend. While the chance of this ever being confirmed as true is microscopic, we can at least fan ourselves in the shade.
Finally, there’s this. Right after he met with, no joke, President Barack Obama about the Syrian refugee crisis at the UN, George Clooney got cornered by a CNN reporter — a reporter who asked not about his meeting with the President, but if he had heard the news about Brangelina. He hadn’t, but responded about as well as someone could in that situation.
Lord I hope we don’t have to write anymore about this, because I’m feeling more like that CNN dude every day.
What do you think? Did Pitt cheat? Let us know in the comments or @WhatsTrending on Twitter!