America Crowns This Year’s Hot Dog Eating Champion
It’s the Fourth of July, and you know what that means: The Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest!
Nothing gets you in the mood for your Independence Day barbecue like watching a bunch of guys inhaling multiple hot dogs per minute and soaking the buns in water so they can cram them down faster.
I dare you to watch this whole video without feeling queasy.
This year marks the 100th anniversary of this treasured national competition held at Coney Island, broadcast on ESPN because competitive hot dog eat is a sport, god dammit. Today’s victory goes to Joey Chestnut, a nine-time champion and the most dominant hot dog eater in history, who managed to down an astonishing 70 franks in ten minutes, breaking his own world record.
Dudebros across the internet were reportedly disappointed that he didn’t eat one hot dog less, which would add the perfect touch to their oh-so-clever dick jokes.
Chestnut lost by two last year to Matt Stonie, who ate 62; but now Chestnut says the defeat only made him more determined to take him down and reclaim the Yellow Mustard International Belt, according to Bleacher Report.
“It’s his fault. He beat me last year and awoke the sleeping giant. He made me go back to the drawing board and relearn my body. And I did it, and I’m happy.”
It’s times like these when we can all be proud to be an American.