What are we, a thinking nation not bereft of intellectuals and good do wells (the opposite of ne’er do wells) to make of the Cardi B/ City Girls “Twerk” video? The video, directed by Daps, promises us, the good thinking people of the world, oh but a glimpse at a butt shaking in the dance routine known only to the universe as the “twerk“. In fact, I urge you to gaze upon it. An army of jiggled upon butts, with Cardi B and City Girls in the center, adorned in the mighty cat and tiger print, also shaking their butts, creating what, at first, one might think is an ocean of flesh creating waves at midnight at the pull of the moon, but are in fact, a bunch of jiggling butts.
Get your eyes ready. Here are butts for your eyes!
Damn! Those were a lot of butts! Now, were I a more craven, drama adoring writer, I would point out how impressive it is that Cardi B created the biggest twerk based video since Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda, thus adding another brick to the grand rivalry between these two incredible rappers.
Or maybe. There is no philosophy behind a butt. A butt is just a butt. Gaze into its jiggle muscles and weep at the world you’ve left behind. You have a new identity now. You are the Butt Watcher. And like Uatu the Watcher in the Marvel movies, you can only observe the butts. You cannot change the butts. The butts jiggle with or without your approval. You must never intervene, but when the butts are in danger, you, like when Uatu gave Mr. Fantastic the Ultimate Nullifier to defeat Galactus, will intervene to make sure the butts jiggle more.
More jiggle, say you, more jiggle!
I don’t know why I’m afraid of causing drama. If Cardi B is reading this she’s way too excited by the prospect of reading Fantastic Four comics to give a hoot about this.
What do you think of this whole video thing? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter at @WhatsTrending.