https://www.facebook.com/OnlyinDuval/videos/2006110719420049/
At this point, what can you say about the Florida Man trope? It’s part stereotype that feels like a hacky joke you make, and it’s part remarkably consistent source of news. Take for example the story of Robby Stratton, a Florida man who ran into a convenience store looking for beer with an alligator with a taped up mouth under his arm.
In the video we can see Robby acting as one does with an alligator in a convenience store — running around, being loud, scaring people. Frankly my friends, an alligator is simply not enough. You also have to make a big mess of things and run around making sure everyone knows you’re a massive weirdo as well.
Robby later got interviewed on the local news, and his entire attitude about running through the convenience store holding a gator is downright passé.
He says he doesn’t remember where he found the alligator admits to being drunk out of his mind, and on the subject of jail, he says he might go to jail, he might not, who knows.
Jeez louise. I think if I blacked out, found an alligator, taped up his mouth and then ran through the town freaking people out it would probably be my lowest moment, right? Like, I would be huddled under the stairs of AA, waiting for the doors to open so I can tell everyone I just ran around with an alligator and I need some help.
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I don’t know, maybe the local news is this guy’s confessional booth.
But wait! The news did a follow up! The new video shows Stratton finding the alligator! There were too many cameras around this entire thing. When confronted Stratton says that he thought the gator was a prop or dead (which one is it, buddy?) and then released the alligator into a nearby creek. Florida State, baby, indeed.
https://www.facebook.com/ActionNewsJacksonville/videos/2219556391450168/?t=30
Also, according to the local news at Jacksonville.com, Robby was an arrested for his role as an accessory after the fact in a series of shootings. There is a lot happening here, but for now we will bid adieu to the Florida Man… and a special chomp comp to the gator. Farewell!
Do you want some more Florida stories? Well, here’s another gator based story about a man who threw a gator through a Wendy’s Drive Through window, or this story concerning a Florida woman who got a third boob. Look, if you think we are above these stories you are wrong. It can’t all be 3-D printed gun debates! The lady has three boobs, folks!
What do you think of this man’s gator carrying ways? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter at @WhatsTrending.
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