13 Movies You Never Actually Saw, But Still Tell Everyone You Did
1. Shrek The Third
You read (the first paragraph of) a review and never actually saw it, but your knowledge of the first two got you through the conversation.
“Hey, how was Shrek the Third?”
“Oh man, Eddie Murphy? What a donkey! Can’t live up to the first two, but it was a solid flick, bro.”
2. Gone With The Wind
You sat down and prepared to watch one of the best movies ever made (according to everyone else). You had your popcorn all ready, looked at the DVD case and saw it was like 5 hours long, so you just watched Mean Girls again.
“Yeah, ‘frankly my dear I don’t give a damn?’ GREATEST LINE EVER. That movie, man!”
3. The Entire Matrix Trilogy
It just had no appeal to you. Keanu Reeves is a wacko. It’s understandable. Something about a red pill and a blue pill? You have no idea, but you’ve sure as hell faked your way through that conversation on so many occasions you could pretend to quote the whole movie.
4. Scary Movie… 6?
That came out already, right? I think so. You just talk about how it was SO bad, and criticize the studio for making another one.
It sounded too confusing. You don’t like Chris Nolan unless Batman is there. You forgot it was in theaters. We get it. Even though you never saw it, you could gather there was something about dreaming in it? You talked about how Leo, “totally got robbed of the Oscar. AGAIN! But, he was like SO good! And the ending?! Woah, like total head trip. (right?)”
6. Every Single Wes Anderson Movie After Rushmore
Jesus- they’re all the same anyway, why bother watching more than one!? When people ask, your go to is, “yeah, the color scheme, oh yeah, and.. Bill Murray probably?”
7. Soylent Green
Oh, someone gave away the end to you a while ago. It’s people. W O W.That’s the only thing people talk about for this film, so you don’t need to see it anyway.
The trailer was enough. You didn’t need more Adam Sandler then, and you don’t need him now. “Man, he’s come a LONG way since Zoolander… I mean Happy Gilmore!”
9. Slumdog Millionaire
Everyone said it was ~so good~ but you’re still bitter it beat the Dark Knight. Honestly, the only movies you saw in theaters that year were Dark Knight and Wall-e. When faking your way through this conversation, you’ll just say, “how eye opening it was to look at another culture,” or some crap like that. Why even bother? You never saw this. You never will. Who are you?
10. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Someone smart you know said it was really good, so you just tell people (if it ever comes up in conversation), “Oh my gosh, I had no idea David Spade could do real acting! I mean Jim Carey…”
11. The Old King Kong
You never saw it, but you still tell people the new one, “sucked so much,” and that, “the original was WAY better with… whatshername. You know who I’m talking about. The LADY! The.. blonde?”
12. The Spanish Connection
You heard your dad talk about it when you were little so it was probably pretty good? You wait until someone else brings up Gene Hackman’s name before you rave about his performance because you forgot who the guy was who was in it.
Oh who has time for Brad Pitt anymore? Baseball, baseball, something something Oscars?