My Review of The “Two and a Half Men” Finale, A Show I’ve Never Seen

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    I just watched the last two minutes of Two and a Half Men, and they are the first two minutes of the show I’ve ever seen. I knew Charlie Sheen wasn’t there anymore. I didn’t know that the 1/2 man was gone and replaced by a woman. Whatever.

    Here’s what happens in the last two minutes of the show, and I’ll describe it exactly as I watched it: completely free of context.

    Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer and the lady are smoking cigars, talking about what “Charlie” would do if he was there. They talk about him as if he’s in prison (or dead? it’s unclear). The woman says she’s got a lot of money and is “out,” is planning to go smoke a lot of weed in a place with nice weather and dumb men. Ashton Kutcher says, “That’s here!” and then she says she’s staying.

    Then a guy who looks like Charlie Sheen from behind walks up to the house. A piano falls on his head. Then the camera pulls out, we see Chuck Lorre sitting in a director’s chair. He turns around and says, “Winning,” then a piano falls on his head. The end.

    Is this what the show was always like? I have no idea. All I know is that it was one of the most popular shows on television and probably sucked.

    Then there was this end card:

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    So, Chuck Lorre really hates Charlie Sheen, and said “Fuck the story, such that it is.”

    Did anyone out there watch this show? Did this make sense? Help me out here.