Man Who Called 911 After Getting “Too High” Found Surrounded by Doritos
Doritos just can’t stay out of the news lately.
First off, I think it’s fair to say this is the internet’s favorite news story of the day and perhaps forever:
A 22-year-old Ohio man called 911 last Friday evening and told officers he was “too high” on marijuana.
According to the police report, when cops arrived at the man’s home, his grandfather directed them upstairs where they found the man moaning, curled in the fetal position, and “surrounded by a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, and Chips Ahoy cookies.”
You have to hand it to the guy – when he wants to get high, he COMMITS. No half-assed puffing and snacking for this gentleman. I mean, he must have planned ahead to have Doritos, Goldfish crackers AND Chips Ahoy cookies readily available at the time.
This is right after Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee called for a boycott of Doritos after they released limited-edition rainbow-colored chips to raise awareness of anti-LGBT bullying.
I thought the Rainbow Doritos thing ended weeks ago, first of all, why is he bringing it up now? And how did nobody in campaign warn him about what an easy target this story is?
Let’s get a round of drinks for the Frito-Lay PR department, I’m sure they could use it.