This Woman On Maury Looks Just Like Ted Cruz

  • A woman appeared on Maury on Monday and she looks exactly like Ted Cruz. The episode was titled 5 Men Tested…Will I Find My Daughter’s Father Today? It must be seen to be believed. Watch below (Cruz’s doppelgänger appears at 23:23):

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    Identified only as Searcy, the woman has a six-week old baby boy named Jaden. Freddie denies that he is the father – claiming that Searcy stayed with a friend around the time she became pregnant. Searcy claims she was already pregnant at the time and that Freddie is the only possible father.

    At one point in her arguments, Searcy walks over to a screen displaying Jaden and Freddie, and says “Look at that! The eyes! The nose! The whole thing!” We couldn’t agree more, Searcy, and we’re so, so sorry that you have to resemble that man.

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  • Let’s not let fiancé Freddie off the hook, either. He looks like young Bill Nye stoned out of his mind.

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  • Fortunately, Freddie did turn out to be the father, and all’s well that ends well. Except for the fact that Searcy looks like Ted Cruz. DNA test results on that still pending.

    Of course, this is hardly the first time people have seen Ted Cruz pop up in their tortillas. Much of the Internet is still convinced that Cruz is the former lead singer of 80s Christian metal band Stryper.

  • And even more believe him to be the never-captured Zodiac killer.

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