Candidate’s Nude Bigfoot Erotica Threatens to Destroy Political Campaign

I open up the internet, see Bigfoot Dick trending on Twitter, and buddy, I am into it.

In the year 2018, of our Lord, who is maybe no one, a conversation regarding a white supremacist’s bigfoot erotica has taken the internet by storm, as such a discussion must. It all began when Democratic candidate Leslie Cockburn, a woman running for Virginia’s fifth district discovered two things about her opponent — Denver Riggleman. The first is a video of him hobnobbing and campaigning with a white supremacist (bad news, folks). And the second — two photos of a nude and sexualized bigfoot with his massive bigfoot dick out with a censor bar covering it (bad news folks and we — wait what!?)

I don’t know. I thought political discourse reached its nadir with Donald Trump talking about his own hog. Didn’t know we’d move on to bigfoot’s apparently massive hog.

Denver Riggleman’s Instagram account is currently set to private, as an account currently in the news for trumpeting the incredible nature of bigfoot’s sexual prowess is want to be, but that didn’t stop Twitter from discussing Bigfoot’s big old dick (whoa it’s true what they say about big feet whoa) and what it means about the current political system and– just kidding. They just kept talking about Denver Riggleman’s love of bigfoot and his mighty phallus.

Check out the current conversation regarding Bigfoot Dick, please!!!

The only thing that I take issue with is calling it erotica. Folks, he says it right there, it is apparently for a book called “Mating Habits of Bigfoot”. Implying the white supremacist senator is cranking his big racist dick to the concept of bigfoot fucking is simply unfounded. Although, who is bigfoot fucking if he’s a one of a kind? Well… we’ll have to read the damn book, won’t we?

Want more horrible stories about sexual encounters with cryptids? Well check out our video about every celebrity who claims they’ve had sex with a ghost! Then, want to see a ghost slam a door? Yeah you do! You can check out the ghost door slamming action here. If you want to then see some Grover content. Buddy, why not. Here’s some Grover content.

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