8 Celebs That Stiffed Their Kids In The Will

Sometimes you get lucky in life and a rich uncle dies, leaving you billions of dollars. Sometimes you’re the child of a billionaire or mega-star and all you get is a big fat goose-egg. These 8 celebs are either trying to create healthy, productive, well-adjusted human beings… or are total dicks. You be the judge!

It was just announced that recently deceased actor Philip Seymour Hoffman refused to set up a trust fund for his kids because he didn’t want them to grow up too entitled. Hoffman’s attorney repeatedly asked him to set up funds, but he stuck to his guns until the very end, the Daily News reported. He did, however, leave almost all of his $35 million to his long-time girlfriend and mother of his kids, Mimi O’Donnell. He didn’t believe in marriage, but he loved her as a spouse. He doesn’t believe in trust funds, but we’re sure his kids will be just fine.

Sting: Father of 6, 9th richest musician in England, owner of 180-million euros, wearer of floral suits, non-believer of trust-funds. Raised by working-class parents, Sting knows the value of a dollar and built his empire from nothing. I guess he hopes that his kids will do the same, as he refuses to give them any of it. “I told them there won’t be much money left because we are spending it. We have a lot of commitments. What comes in we spend, and there isn’t much left. I certainly don’t want to leave them trust funds that are albatrosses round their necks. They have to work. All my kids know that and they rarely ask me for anything, which I really respect and appreciate,” he told the Guardian. Ouch, that must…Sting.

Paris Hilton’s granddad has decided to donate 97% of his 2.3 billion fortune “to the Conrad N. Hilton Foundation, to help the homeless with housing, find safe water in developing countries and assist other good causes around the world” People Magazine reports. This leaves the remaining 3% to the heirs… and probably about $5 million to Paris. In anyone else’s case, I wouldn’t call FIVE MILLION DOLLARS nothing, but this is Paris Hilton we’re talking about. She has managed to build her own empire that makes her inheritance look like chump change. “She has a perfume range with 16 fragrances, Paris Hilton-branded handbags, shoes, cosmetics, lingerie and everything from £3 mugs to £150,000 watches, sold in 44 shops around the world, which have earned her a personal fortune of £60 million,” according to the Daily Mail.

Helmsley was a very successful NYC real estate broker before her death in 2007. Her $5-8 billion was mostly left to charity, but where the remaining $12 million went has many people thinking she was barking mad. You may have guessed it from that terrible pun, but the extra cash was left to Helmsley’s dog Trouble. That’s all well and good for the dog, but not so great for her grandchildren, who weren’t left a penny. Amen for the court system, though, which reduced the dogs fortune to $2 million (which is obviously much more reasonable), and $6 million to the kids the Daily Finance reported.

When “the godfather of soul” passed away, he left his $100 million fortune in two funds: “One for the education of his grandchildren and one for the education of needy children in Georgia and South Carolina” according to the Daily Finance. Nothing went to his children or anyone else. And he left no room for confusion — he straight up put that he intentionally left them out in the will. Ouch. Once again, the magic of America let the family contest the will and take half of his fortune.

Simon Cowell is the king of reality TV, but that doesn’t mean his son is the prince. “I’m going to leave my money to somebody. A charity, probably — kids and dogs,” he told the Mirror. Cowell says that he doesn’t believe passing money through generations, that it’s better to teach his kids what he knows so they can be successful on their own. Let’s hope he’s a little more nurturing with them than the American Idol contestants. “That finger painting is just dreadful, Eric. You’ll never be an artist.”

These two bajilionaires have both said that they want to give their children personal value rather than money. They know a thing or two about building an empire, and we would love a lesson, but we’d probably love a few billion more. Good luck, kids! So when you’re richer than God, where does the money go when you die? Charity. Specifically vaccinations.

George Lucas isn’t going to leave his wealth of nerd-money to his kids, but only because he wants to protect them. “Money is a burden for people,” he said. “I know my kids are not gonna be destitute but they’re never going to be able to afford a Learjet, unless they do it themselves,” according to the Hollywood Reporter. I mean not inheriting millions of dollars sucks… but at least he didn’t cut off their hands.