For years, Alanis Morissette has been dogged by ridicule because none of the unfortunate events mentioned in her song "Ironic" are, actually, ironic in any sense of the word. Thankfully, after 17 years of dictionary-challenged incertitude, the song has been fixed by Rachael Hurwitz, a piano teacher in New York City, who modified the lyrics so they contain real irony. Some sample lyrics:
"An old man turned 98. He won the lottery and died the next day from a severe paper cut from his lottery ticket."
"It's a black fly in your Chardonnay that was specifically purchased to repel black flies."
"It's a death row pardon that causes your demise because you leave the jail and get hit by a bus."