Crazed FARTING Forces Plane to Land

There are only two constants in life — death and taxes. Wait, hold on, let me add three more. Death, taxes, farts, getting into a fight over someone’s farts, and forcing a plane to land due to the intensity of said farts. Wait, what’s that? The last three are extremely unlikely? Well, even still — it all happened recently. A plane flying from Dubai to Amsterdam was thrown into chaos by a man who would not stop farting. When his seat mates asked him to stop farting, he continued to fart even more relentlessly, apparently chafing at the idea of being told what to do.

Then, the fists broke out.

A fist fight ensued over who should be forced to desist — the unstoppable force or the immovable object — the farter or the smeller of the farts? It brings to light one of life’s greatest conundrums — where does one’s freedom end? At what point does your right to swing your fist end? When it hits someone’s face? It even proceeds to the gun control debate where the happiness of an individual — wait what? Anyway, they stopped the plane in Vienna and forcibly removed all parties involved. Yeah that seems fair.

Remember folks — don’t be an asshole. Especially about your asshole, don’t be an asshole. There are simply better ways to spend your time. Even though farting is extremely fun.

I now present to you a clip from the Ren and Stimpy cartoon, “Stimpy’s First Fart.”

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