Billie Eilish, the 22-year-old Grammy-winning singer, is known for her powerful voice and distinctive style, but in a candid interview for Vogue’s November cover story, she revealed that her body often feels much older than her age. Eilish has faced a series of injuries over the years, particularly those related to her hypermobility, a condition that causes her joints to stretch beyond the normal range.
“I’ve basically been in pain since I was nine,” Eilish told the magazine, describing her long-standing battle with her body. “Growing up, I’d always hear people say, ‘Just wait until you’re older! You’re going to have so much pain!’ And I remember being so furious.” Her frustration is palpable as she reflects on the difficulties that have accompanied her rise to fame, particularly the physical toll of performing.
In addition to the physical challenges, Eilish shared her experiences of isolation while on tour. “I’ve had some really dark times on tour,” she admitted. “For a long time, I was kind of living like it was temporary. Like, yeah, I’m touring for now and it’s kind of unpleasant, and whatever. It’ll be over. And the truth is, it’s the rest of my life.” This realization has prompted a shift in her mindset, as she seeks to make her touring experience more enjoyable.
“I didn’t realize that I could make touring enjoyable,” she said. “I just was very lonely for many years, and I’m not interested in that anymore. I want to enjoy the show as well as my days.” Eilish’s desire for connection and fulfillment during her performances highlights the emotional complexity of life on the road.
This candid reflection on her struggles comes after Eilish previously opened up about her mental health challenges, including debilitating depression. In an earlier interview with Rolling Stone, she discussed her lifelong battle with happiness. “My whole life, I’ve never been a happy person, really,” she said. “I’ve been a joyous person, but not a happy person.” Eilish explained that although she could find joy and laughter in life, her underlying depression remained a constant presence.
The turning point in her perspective came when she realized she hadn’t truly enjoyed life for several years. “I hit a turning point,” Eilish recounted. “I had this moment of like, ‘Oh, my God, I haven’t had fun in seven years.’ Truly. I had this illusion that I had, because who experiences going to the Grammys at basically 17 and winning five? But in life, I realized I had really not experienced that much. I didn’t go outside for five years. How was I supposed to have any experiences?”
Reflecting on her past and the changes she has undergone, Eilish mentioned her third album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, as a catalyst for her emotional recovery. “This whole process has felt like I’m coming back to the girl that I was,” she explained. “I’ve been grieving her. I’ve been looking for her in everything, and it’s almost like she got drowned by the world and the media. I don’t remember when she went away.” This yearning for her former self underscores her desire to reconnect with the joy and creativity that initially fueled her artistry.
ADVERTISEMENT
In her interview, Eilish emphasized that while she has learned to navigate the complexities of fame and mental health, the journey is ongoing. She expressed a desire to find a balance between her professional responsibilities and personal well-being, indicating a newfound understanding of what it means to live a fulfilling life as an artist.
As Eilish continues to explore her identity and artistry, her openness about her struggles resonates with fans and offers a glimpse into the realities of being a young star in the public eye. With her third album set to contribute to her healing journey, Eilish remains committed to reclaiming her happiness and enjoying the art she creates.
In an industry often characterized by pressure and scrutiny, Billie Eilish’s candid reflections serve as a reminder that even those at the top face their own battles. Her story inspires others to embrace their vulnerabilities and prioritize mental health while navigating the complexities of life and fame.
