Beachgoers Have No Idea Why America Celebrates Independence Day

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  • This is not a good look, America. Political activist Mark Dice visited a beach in San Diego this week to ask people why America celebrates Independence Day. The results were… depressing. One woman said it was when America won its freedom from the South. Another said it was the day Abraham Lincoln signed the Declaration of Independence. Many people answered, simply, “I don’t know.”

    Come on, people. This is basic stuff! Everybody knows Independence Day is the day Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum blew up the alien mothership and saved Earth from an extraterrestrial invasion.

    In all seriousness, we’re hoping Mark Dice did a lot of cherry-picking among the people he interviewed. We’d like to think many people — most, even! — know what the Fourth of July is all about. Dice is also something of a controversial figure. He is an avowed conspiracy theorist, his YouTube channel mostly devoted to videos about the Illuminati and the New World Order. He once organized a campaign to send letters to American troops overseas explaining that 9/11 was an inside job. We’ll admit he does have a rockin’ beach bod, though.

    Anyway, take from this what you will. And enjoy the Fourth of July! No matter what you think it’s about.

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