PETA Congratulates Robert Pattinson For Not Masturbating Dog

By Alex Firer
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  • This story is odd beginning to end, but I have very good news — it does NOT end with Robert Pattinson jerking off a dog. When on the Jimmy Kimmel show, Robert Pattinson was talking about the insane shooting process of his movie Good Time, which involved a scene where a drug dealer breaks into his house to find him masturbating a canine. Although they used prop genatalia in the shoot itself, the directors were egging him on to jerk off the dog on screen for real (even the dog’s trainer admitted to Pattison that it’s a dog meant for breeding so he COULD if he wanted to). And folks. Pattinson. Refused.

    Now you would think the story would end there. After all, most of us don’t jerk off dogs day to day and we HARDLY expect anyone to notice or even care. In fact, it would be kind of weird if anyone would ever congratulate me on not jerking off a dog. But folks— Pattinson got praised for it by PETA — the most publicly known animal rights organization.

    Between this and that guy from Buzzfeed who got praised for loving his wife, it’s been a day of low expectations. But Robert Pattinson. Congratulations my man. Congrats on not jerking off a dog. I believe in you, my man.

    I dunno, you got opinions on this thing? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter at @WhatsTrending.