In a viral TikTok circulating the app, a woman responds to another man’s video and opens up about her struggles with modern dating as a woman. In the first video, a man says that whenever he wants to approach a woman he finds attractive, he hesitates and stops himself as he does not want to come off as predatory or creepy. In a follow-up, Ariel, a romance author, says that she finds this is the conundrum with modern dating. She finds that while friendly and respectful men do not approach women as they do not want to disturb or bother men, the creepy or rude men often do not care and will approach them anyway, which can make some women uncomfortable.
In the comments, many women immediately agreed with the “endlessly miserable cycle” as Ariel explains. “I’m gonna just start asking dudes out in public. It’s the only way,” one person commented. But, although many women in the comments agreed, some men agreed and complained about how only attractive men will be perceived as nice or friendly. “What she means is if you are deemed good-looking enough to approach her then do it but if you are not, then don’t. And she might be not into it, tired of it.” But, some men were wondering how to approach women successfully. “Can y’all start wearing a colored bracelet or something noticeable that lets us know you’re okay with being approached?” one person joked.
Reply to @call_me_mr.j i dont speak for all women, obviously, but many of us don’t mind being approached/want to be.
But, Ariel did give some advice to the men in the comments seeking ways to talk to women that didn’t make them feel uncomfortable. She says that women often do not like being approached because of the fear of rejecting them and them not responding well. But, she also gives advice such as not approaching women somewhere that might be dangerous, like stairwells or places that are not crowded or might be dark. But, places like coffee shops or well-lit areas definitely make women feel more comfortable. Still, not everyone was pleased with the different tips she gave, with comments like “Nah…I’m just gonna stay single. too much work,”
The conversation often brought up the point that friendly men will approach women and they will still turn them down or not want to have a conversation. But, she reminds people that women are often afraid of being approached and things end badly. And, sometimes women do not want to date or might not be interested, and that’s okay and should not prevent you from ever approaching women again. Many women in the comments agreed, as sometimes people just want to exist and not be hit on or asked out on a date, which is understandable. Ariel’s video seemed to open the floodgates of a conversation about modern dating and why some women aren’t receptive to being approached.