Mighty Juggalos Defeat Facial Recognition Technology

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In a world that quietly creeps up on our once assumed privacy, taking all that is ours and selling it to corporations that can sway elections, we need a hero. In a world where iPhones now have facial recognition technology, sending knowledge of our visages to who knows where (so far Ticketmaster wants to store your face too, so that’s two corporations), and as the government is demanding more and more control over those who they deem problems to their cause, there is but one being to save us: Juggalos. Because folks, Juggalos have figured out how to defeat facial recognition technology.

The science behind the defeat involves that very tool of the trade best known to any Faygo sipping so and so– Juggalo make up! The Juggalo make up — the make up that fans and members of ultra fringe rap group Insane Clown Posse wear to show their Insane Clown Pride in fact tricks the computer into thinking your face… is not your own. Twitter user @Tahkion explains that this is due to the technology seeing your facial features in different areas of your face due to the make up obscuring where the jawline is. Look, I’m no ICP scientist (insane scientists posse), and unlike magnets, I feel like the way this works is pretty clearly. @Tahkion, take it away!

Of course, I am also assuming most other full face make ups will work, but why not move our absurd dystopia to its logical conclusion and fight off the future surveillance state as if we’re in an Insane Clown Posse music video.

Of course, this fun news story also presents us with a bigger issue: why is our face being sent around? Was this always the goal? Is this really better than a six digit code or whatever? Ugh. I am not ready to be tracked by X-Men style sentinels for Tweeting “elon musk is b add” as they beat me up like I am so much Wolverine. And I am not ready to be a Juggalo. I like Bowie! Here’s hoping putting the Aladdin Sane thunderbolt on my eye will do the trick.

What do you think about the fact that the music of the Insane Clown Posse will save us all? Let us know in the comments or on Twitter at @WhatsTrending.


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