In a recent viral TikTok posted by creator @Licibaby96, a woman films as she leaves a small tip at a restaurant with a note explaining why the tip was so small, noting “You had 3 different chances to not do that! Be better next time. It’s 2022!” Later in the video, she explains the reason she left only a 5 dollar bill was that even after correcting the server multiple times, the server continued to misgender her boyfriend, who is trans, and refer to them both as “ladies.” The video, which now has over 3 thousand comments, went viral and opened a discussion to tipping and how servers should begin to address people neutrally, or at the very least continue to not misgender someone after being corrected.
https://www.tiktok.com/@licibaby96/video/7053172366767115567?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id7043861003306944005
In the video, the creator notes that she was formerly a server, and hates leaving a bad tip, but felt as if she had no other choice due to the repeated, and seemed purposely, misgendering. She notes that when the server first came up to them, she greeted them both as “ladies”, to which they corrected her and explained he is trans. The server apologized and all seemed to be well. Unfortunately, the server went on to continue to refer to them both as ladies three times, even after being corrected each time.
https://www.tiktok.com/@licibaby96/video/7053181596865662254?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id7043861003306944005
In a follow-up video, where the creator is clearly upset, she explains that her boyfriend does not look feminine and the misgendering felt like it was done intentionally. Many of the commenters also believed this was done on purpose, noting “You need to call the manager!!! It was on purpose completely.” Some, though, felt as if the creator was in the wrong and should have covered where the lady worked or what her name was, saying that this could be dangerous. The creator noted the woman was older, so some felt that her age could have been an excuse, or that the creator was causing too much “drama.” However, in follow-up videos where the creator and her boyfriend are clearly upset, it does not feel like something they are doing to stir up drama.
https://www.tiktok.com/@licibaby96/video/7053173075348720943?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id7043861003306944005
Some commenters also noted that this is why they often use neutral language when greeting people when they are serving, saying things like “hey you guys” or “hey y’all” as this can avoid this issue altogether. The creator noted this as well, saying when she worked as a server she misgendered someone once and then never used gendered language again to avoid this issue.
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