Drew Afualo built a platform on TikTok around taking down toxic masculinity and calling out misogyny online. Afualo’s mission recently culminated in her popular podcast “The Comment Section”, which offers deeper dives into these issues, and guest appearances from fellow digital creators. Now, a viral X thread about men who reportedly “start hating” their girlfriends has caught her attention.
The thread was first posted by an X user named Luu (@sk1tguru), and read “that phase where you slowly start hating your girlfriend is crazy.” A slew of predominantly young men began to respond, listing a series of behaviors that they “hated” in their girlfriends, and the great lengths they would go to in order to not appear villainous in the impending breakup.
that phase where you slowly start hating your girlfriend is crazy????
— Luu (@sk1tguru) October 2, 2023
Additionally, the thread appeared to attempt to justify men’s toxic behaviors while in relationships.
The Thread
The complaints included good morning text messages, checking in on their partners’ mental health, a desire to cheat and not get caught, and various insults on their respective girlfriends’ physical appearance. Overall, the thread reflected a dark series of manipulative interpersonal relationship tactics.
when you keep messing up on purpose so that she can break up with you and she keeps forgiving you YOH????
— Luu (@sk1tguru) October 2, 2023
when she finally says "baby it's over.. I can't do this anymore" pic.twitter.com/CqxcQ5Ch9F
— ᴰ-ᴳᴼᴬᵀ (@_goatnelli) October 3, 2023
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when she says “good morning” and you just start feeling nauseous ????
— Collen (@Collen_KM) October 2, 2023
You would be ghosting her and she would still be texting you “I just want to make sure you are okay “ , “you can talk to me”????
— Timmy (@timmyisagod) October 3, 2023
When u open a text thinking it’s from the women u actually want , but it’s from her.
— ???? (@bysosa_) October 2, 2023
When you have to spit on her back to pretend that you came because she doesn't turn you on anymore ????????????
— ????????????????????????ℤ????.ℙ???????? (@Mulaedza20) October 2, 2023
When you know deep down, this isn't a typo. pic.twitter.com/kS9IoGUeBf
— ZacAttorneyAtLaw (@ZacMoselane) October 3, 2023
when her smile takes away yours ????
— ᴰ-ᴳᴼᴬᵀ (@_goatnelli) October 3, 2023
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When she thinks you’re broke and hits you with “we don’t have to do expensive dates to meet up we can just chill” that time you just want her to leave you alone ????????????????????
— Vusi.Mz???? (@YouDunnoVusi) October 3, 2023
when you can't let go because you haven't found her replacement yet pic.twitter.com/4F1r6c1Fb0
— ᴰ-ᴳᴼᴬᵀ (@_goatnelli) October 3, 2023
The Reactions
The disturbing thread led to a number of strong reactions from young women, many of whom were gravely disappointed at what appeared to be a mass opinion among men.
me after reading “that phase where you start hating your girlfriend” thread pic.twitter.com/wxQDVibSjf
— ˚✧ (@aqvababy) October 5, 2023
Others felt it was an immature view point, encouraging those who are unhappy to resolve the issue or break up with their partners.
“that phase where you start hating your girlfriend” THEN BREAK UP ????
— ana (@anaeatsbananass) October 3, 2023
Of course, the combat then ensued. Some went as far as questioning if the men who appeared so gravely unhappy in their relationships with women may actually fall under the LGBTQ+ umbrella.
wait until they discover “that phase where you slowly start hating your girlfriend is crazy” is just men being homosexual in plain sight. the closet is GLASS! pic.twitter.com/QT9Msu4fam
— ella ???? (@wagwanitzella) October 4, 2023
As the thread raised issues of misogyny, Afualo entered the comment section. The creator expressed that the thread appeared to be predominantly composed of young men who have likely never had a girlfriend, and simply consumed misogynistic content online. Additionally, the TikTok creator encouraged young women to use the thread as “inspiration to never date a man like that,” and empathized with women affected by the dynamics described in the thread.
@drewafualo happy friday LMFAOOOOOOO #fyp
Afualo then made a follow up to her initial statement, discussing the dangers of men finding brotherhood in the abuse of women. Many of the topics discussed relate back to alt right extremists.
@drewafualo Replying to @Roseann Carpenter they can forever SMD is always my point i guess lmfaooooo #fyp
The thread’s initial creator is yet to respond to Afualo’s explanation videos. It remains unclear if the original tweet was directed at anyone in particular. Afualo’s podcast, “The Comment Section” drops new episodes weekly on Spotify and Apple podcasts.
